Why is it when you need a salesperson, there’s never one around, but when you’re ‘just browsing’, they pester you every thirty seconds?
I’d dodged half a dozen salespeople by the time I made my way to the appliance section of the gigantic furniture store. Everyone was, it appeared, quite keen on helping me. They must, I determined, at least partly work on commission. There was no other explanation for so many eager, helpful people. This is not to say I think all salespeople are lazy and rude, but in a store this size you would expect to find at least one horrible employee, and I had yet to see anything but smiling, helpful faces. It made my teeth ache.
Perhaps I was more sensitive to it because I was anything but peppy and cheerful. The elation of my shopping spree had faded, and the old (yes, week-old, but it had been a long few days) worry and stress had set in. I couldn’t be sure that what I was doing was the right thing, and second-guessing myself was really tiring. As I approached the appliances I told myself for the thousandth time that I had no choice. I needed info, and for that I needed someone on the inside. Robert was my best chance at that.
He was standing next to the chest freezers, the closest thing the store had to industrial walk-in freezers. Dressed in jeans and a t-shirt, he looked far more relaxed and at home than he had in the goth get-up from the night at the club. I’d changed from my goth wear as well, and was now sporting a long black wig and ample padding, hopefully making me unrecognizable as Sandra or Isabella. I stood there a moment, then realized he probably wouldn’t recognize me and started towards him. I was wrong.
“There you are,” he said jovially, and moved towards me, engulfing me in a giant hug. I was too stunned to do anything but play along. “John and some of his cronies followed me. I don’t know how, I’m betting there’s a tracking device on my car. I can’t believe they don’t trust their own agents,” he whispered in my ear as he hugged me. “I lost them in the store, but they could be anywhere.”
“Including in the security booth watching,” I said.
“Right. So you’d better just be a long-lost acquaintance, not the person I came here to meet.” He released me and stepped back. I grinned up at him, and out of the corner of my eye I saw I man in a suit sidle up and start hanging out a little too close for coincidence. I could see by the brief flicker in his eye Robert had caught sight of him as well.
“Long time no see!” I exclaimed loudly, pouring on a charming southern belle accent. “It’s been, what, five years? What were the odds of running in to you here after all that time? How have you been, what have you been up too, or can’t you tell me that?” I grinned and gave him an exaggerated wink.
“Slow down! Slow down, one question at a time.” He chuckled and returned my wink. “Of course, I still can’t talk to you about work. I could tell you, but then…”
“I’d have to kill you,” we said in unison.
“Right,” he said. “It has been too long, but I’m still much the same as I was then. How is James? The baby?”
“Fine, fine, in fact… we’re expecting another.” I patted my slightly rounded midsection. The padding was coming in handy. “That’s why I’m here, we’re moving to a bigger place, need more furniture. Everything is so expensive, though!”
“Moving? I thought you loved that little house.” He moved with me as I pretended to examine a sticker on a freezer. He very subtly pointed at letters on the tag. M… C… D… It was a slight movement, and even the best security cameras wouldn’t be able to pick that up. Okay, maybe the ones in a Vegas casino, but not in a giant chain furniture store. You don’t need really fine cameras to notice a person trying to steal a washer and dryer.
“Yes, but ‘little’ is the operative word. I really want each of the kids to have their own room, you know? And James is doing pretty well at work, we can afford a bigger place if we move a little further out.” We moved to another freezer, and he pointed out more letters. H… W… Y… 7… I tapped his hand to let him know I’d gotten in. “But what about you? What are you doing in a furniture store? Did you move out of that awful little apartment?”
We turned slightly and I could see the man in the suit was bored. He was only half-listening now, and as I watched he said something into his shirt cuff and wandered further away. Still not far enough for us to say anything without fear of being overheard, though, so we kept up our pretense. And he might not be the only one watching. In fact, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be, because agents aren’t usually so sloppy and obvious. He was probably trying to lull us into a false sense of security so we’d slip up and his unobtrusive, and yet unnoticed, partner.
“No, I’m meeting someone,” Robert said. The man in the suit was suddenly listening again, wandering closer. “Or, at least, I’m supposed to be.” He sighed theatrically.
“Weird place to meet someone,” I said. “I suppose this means you can’t go look at cribs with me?”
“No, I need to stay here, at least for the time being.” He glanced at his watch. I’d shown up early, and it appears he had, too. “She’s supposed to get here in about 20 minutes.”
The man in the suit relaxed back a few paces and muttered into his cuff again. Definitely way to obvious. But I couldn’t look around to study the other shoppers without looking obvious myself. I forced myself to act casual and completely unaware, though my stomach was starting to churn. At least I already had a built-in excuse if I blew chunks. Oops, sorry, must be early-evening sickness again! “Oh, well, your loss! I’m sure James would have understood if his darling little girl ended up in a racecar bed.” I winked at him. My, this new personality was saucy. And a bit obnoxious. I liked her a lot more than I liked Isabelle. I really should give her a name. What’s a good suburban Mom name? Rachel? That sounded about right. I started to think of the new (new) me as Rachel. Who has a husband named James, one kid, probably about six years old, and another on the way. I decided we had a little boy named Ryan, and were planning on naming the little girl Heather. Should we have a dog? I pulled myself out of my musing and forced myself to listen to Robert.
He laughed. “I always wanted one of those beds. I probably would pick it out, even for a girl.”
“Well, I should get going. My mother will only watch Ryan for a little while, then he starts to fray her nerves. I told her it was just going to be a quick trip to do some pricing and I’d swing by and pick up some dinner on my way back. And if I’m not home soon, it’ll be time for him to go to bed before he gets to eat. That’s the problem with two night-owls raising children. Call us sometime, we should get together!”
“I will,” he said. I hugged him again, then wandered off to the baby department to browse through the cribs. Just in case they kept an eye on me. It would look suspicious to leave the store right away. I even spent some time with a salesperson, really getting into my role. By the time I left I felt like James, little Ryan, and our pet hedgehog, Martin, were real. I was even starting to feel a craving for a tub of ice cream, though that probably had less to do with pretending to be pregnant and more to do with my general love of ice cream. I walked to the far end of the lot, glad there were no security cameras to pick up on my car. None of the men in suits had followed me out, and it was just now past time for Robert’s mystery woman to show up. Or, as the case was, not show up.
I headed over to the mall out on Highway 7. I didn’t know how long it would take Robert to divest himself of his tail, or how he would manage it if they’d tagged his car. Maybe he was just counting on them getting bored and leaving him alone once the girl was a no-show.
As I caught sight of myself in the rear-view mirror, I wondered again how Robert had recognized me. He hadn’t seen much of me that night in the freezer, and I’d pretty radically changed my appearance from then. Except my eyes, which were still the same, boring brown they’d always been. If I was going to keeping having to change identities, I was going to need to be able to do something about that. They eyes are the window to the soul and all that.
Once at the mall, my first stop was an eyewear place. I picked up a pair of dummy glasses. They wouldn’t completely change the look of my eyes, but they would alter my appearance a little more. Then I hit the bathrooms and changed into a brunette in tweed with a sensible bob, sensible shoes, and a pair of sensible glasses. I still thought I looked a lot like myself, but it was the best I could do. I’d never had any of the formal disguise training the agency offered, being nothing but a paper-pusher, but I thought I was doing pretty well for flying by the seat of y shorts. As I got in the car to head down the road to the McDonalds, I started creating my new character.
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