You’re not lost until you don’t know where you are and you don’t know how to get anywhere where you will know where you are.
I was lost. I’d been walking for about two hours, and had completely lost my sense of direction. I’d never been lost before, and I wasn’t keen on repeating it ever again. I’d wandered down blind alleys, doubled back a bunch of times, and probably wandered in circles. I was still in a bad neighborhood, but didn’t care anymore. I hadn’t really seen anyone else, if there were people in the run-down industrial complexes, they were keeping to themselves. I’d also managed not to cry, though it did hurt. Jake hadn’t ever loved me. I’d been an assignment to him. For a year, we’d been in a relationship, and I’d never guessed. What does that tell you about me? I slumped down on a nearby crate and dropped my head into my hands. It was getting cold, but I didn’t care. It took all of my willpower not to sob. Maybe, when the sun started to rise, I’d be able to find my way out of this rabbit warren of tiny roads.
My hand went to my neck and I felt for the pearl necklace that was usually there. But it wasn’t, and I momentarily panicked until I remembered that it was in my pocket. I know, I know, I’m slow. But that’s when it clicked. Of course it was the necklace. I pulled it out of my pocket and stared at it in the glow of the street light.
“It’s just as pretty as the original,” Jake said from behind me. Of course he’d known where I was. And in spite of myself, I felt a surge of happiness that I wouldn’t have to spend the whole night lost in the hell hole. I stood up and turned around to face him.
“The original?” I asked. “Who has the original?”
“I do, now. It’s at my apartment. You… if you want… you can have it back,” he said. He didn’t sound as sure and cocky as he usually did.
“No, it was never mine,” I said glumly.
He looked confused. “Yes it was. You wore it every day for six months. I’d say that makes it yours.” He chuckled. “I honestly can’t believe you didn’t notice when I switched it. I expected you to.”
Now it was my turn to be confused. “So… you didn’t originally give it to me to track me?”
“No, why would you think that? You don’t think… really, I’d do a lot of things for the job, but that’s not one of them.”
“A lot of people would,” I said in a small voice.
“Not to be harsh, but, sweetheart, you weren’t exactly a high-level important spy. Nor did we have any reason to believe you were involved in anything you shouldn’t have been. That’s the only reason I got the okay to date you. But then… when this business cropped up with your boss… and the Jason mess…” He sighed. “They insisted I break it off. And I did, I’m sorry. I admit that it crossed my mind that you might have been involved. In my defense, you’d been acting a little odd.”
“That is harsh. I mean, I know I’m not important, you don’t have to say it. So… you really didn’t want to break up with me?” I tried to keep the wheedling note out of my voice, but it crept in anyway. I sounded pathetic.
He reached out and pulled me into his arms. “No, I didn’t. I think things were pretty good, don’t you?”
I snuggled into him. “Yeah, they were.”
We stood there for a little while, just hugging, until reality reared its ugly head in the report of a gunshot, not too far off. I jumped, and Jake held me tighter and pulled me back into the shadows. I’d never been so glad that most goth chicks wore so much black. We blended in with the shadows and the building wall, and the car that glided past didn’t even pause. Once he got a look at the car, Jake relaxed.
“Just some gang members,” he said into my ear. “We’ll wait a minute and make sure they don’t make another pass, but I think we’re safe.”
“Just gang members?” I hissed back. “I’m sorry, I don’t see what’s so comforting about that statement.”
“Gang members will probably just kill you quickly,” he said. “And considering the alternative to who would be out here looking for us, that would be a blessing.”
I shuddered, imagining. And this is a case where I’m not sure my imagination was worse that the reality. In fact, I had a sinking feeling that reality was probably a whole lot worse than anything my imagination could come up with. We stood there for another ten or so minutes, then Jake led me down the street. We stuck mostly to the shadows, and he kept very alert. I was almost afraid to talk.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to cause trouble. Didn’t you say you had something to do that was time-sensitive?”
“Grant is taking care of that, and it’s more up his alley anyway. After what I heard, I probably wouldn’t be as subtle or nice, and it’s imperative he doesn’t know anything is wrong. A black eye and some broken robs would be a bit of a tip-off.”
“Who? Robert?” I knew the answer, but asked anyway.
“Yeah. We figured this would be a good time to question him. He’s really the weak link. He’s not a supporter of the cause, just a disinterested soldier doing his job.” Jake tugged me into another shadow as the distant rumble of a car drew nearer, but it turned down a side street before it reached us. We resumed our journey, with Jake confidently striding ahead and me scurrying behind.
“How is he not going to know you – oh.” I smacked myself in the forehead. “Of course. The bartender. You drugged him. But he’s going to know something is up when he realizes he can’t remember getting home last night.”
“We have that covered. We have an agent who will be there when he wakes up, and ‘remind’ him what he did last night. Trust me, he’ll want it to be true so badly he won’t even try to question it.”
“She’s that hot, huh?” I couldn’t believe how jealous I felt. I tried to keep my face and tone neutral and calm.
Jake shrugged. “Yeah. I suppose. We got your car done, it’s in here.” He gestured to the large steel building we had stopped in front of. “Do you need me to see you home, or will you be okay?”
I looked up and down the streets. “I have no idea where I am, or how to get home.”
“Well, then, you can give me a ride to my apartment. You should be able to find your way home from there, right?” He pulled the barn-style garage door open and ushered me in. I stepped into what looked like a chop shop – car parts everywhere, tools strewn about the floor, and men standing around in greasy overalls. Except that in the middle of all the chaos, the little hatchback stood there, good as new. If they’d taken her apart, they’d managed to get her all back together fast. I peered into the window. My stuff was all still in there, but in much neater piles. Obviously, they had searched through that as well. I did a quick inventory in my head to try to determine if there was anything embarrassing in there, but was too tired. If they’d riffled through any lacey g-strings, I hope they enjoyed it.
I opened the door and slid into the car. The keys were dangling in the ignition. Jake ran around to the other side of the car and hopped into the passenger’s seat.
“Ready?” he asked.
“As I’ll ever be.” I started the car and drove out of the garage and back into the dark streets. We were quiet for some time, Jake occasionally gesturing right or left to guide me. I was mulling over everything that had happened tonight, and trying to talk myself out of asking Jake if I could stay with him. That would be pathetic. Okay, so he admitted that he hadn’t wanted to break up with me. That didn’t mean he wanted to get back together with me. But in the day and age of equality, shouldn’t I be just as responsible to make the first move if it’s what I wanted? I was far too tired for these philosophical conundrums, I decided. So I did what I usually did when I couldn’t make decisions – I left it up to the universe. If it was meant to be, something would happen.
Just then, Jake’s phone rang, and I jumped. My hand jerked the wheel to the right and I barely missed driving us right into a street light. I suppose that would have been one way to stay with him tonight, though a hospital is not exactly a cozy, romantic place. I cursed the universe and its smart-ass sense of humor as Jake eyed my warily and answered his phone. I didn’t pay much attention to his end of the conversation, as it mostly consisted of non-illuminating ‘yes’ and ‘no’ answers. Then he gave one more sharp ‘okay’ and snapped his phone shut.
“Change of plans, I’m afraid.”
“Something happen with Robert?” I pulled to the side of the road, now starting to look familiar, while I awaited further instructions. Perhaps I was better suited to being a sidekick than the main spy, I mused.
“No, that’s going well. We have a lot of information we didn’t have before, and he’s well on his way to having a story that will entertain the boys at the water cooler for weeks. It’s… look, you probably don’t want to know. Just drop me off here, get yourself home, and I’ll call you as soon as I can.” His tone was confident, but he looked worried.
“What happened? Just tell me.” I wasn’t sure I wanted to know, but I had to.
He hesitated. “Jason’s dead. We’re not sure who did it, the agency or his underworld connections. It’s… messy.”
“And if it was the agency, you think sending me back to a place they undoubtedly know about is a good idea?!” I was fully panicked now.
“No, but it’s my only choice,” he said. “Just keep everything locked down and I’ll be there as soon as I can.”
He stepped out of the car and I pulled away, squealing the tires a little, which is quite a feet in a front-wheel drive car. I was shaking, both with fear and anger. He knew it wasn’t safe for me, and while he didn’t have any other choices, I did. It was time to put my plan into action.
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